Returning to Honduras

I have had so much time to think about my experience in Honduras. I have found that I have grown so much as a person from the mission work I was a part of with Our Little Roses Ministry. I have been wanting to return with my whole heart. Yet, I also realize that I need so much more expreince in ministry to return with. Mission work is the most amazing expereince in life. It takes your whole being to be there in the many moments that present themselves. As a young priest I am aware of the fact that the mission expereince can leave you out there like a loan ranger. SOme might think the political climate in Honduras would keep me from wanting to be there. Yet the mission of Our Little Roses is a safe place to be. I loved my co-workers,the fellow volunteers and the most important were the girls or las damas! I believe that God wants me to return in the future there is no doubt about that. I just need to figure out the growth the learned expereince in other options in ministry. I left knowing that the girls will be forever taken care of by the awesome sponsours and the groups. Do the girls trully need me? I think so..yet I am on the fence with when I should return. The money is so much 10 thousand to raise yet that can happen God can provide that with some momentum from my part and a few preachng opportunties. When I shared about the ministry with my mother's high school students you could feel, hear and taste the passion for the mission work and the awesomeness of OLR and all the miricles that have occured and continue to occur each day. I felt while I was there I was hiting so many walls that could not be pushed through. I felt so burn out by the end of my year. I long to get the resources on not burning out. I am not a help to anyone if I am strung out. I have applied to many hospital chaplain positions for next year. I had a very positive experience in CPE summer unit it was as hard or equal to my expreince in mission work yet I felt like a struture was in place to be able to process the experiences that are hard to deal with. I don't expect any mission organization to have those supports in place to process in a specific manner. Assistant rectorships and freash start programs in various diocese for starting clergy are set up to help new clergy. OLR is about the #1 focuss the girls and their care and I honor that with the deepest part of my being. I was able to process with the personel from the national church and some of my fellow volunteers yet for the volunteers they are going through their own processing of the journey. I will keep all posted about what my heart, mind and soul have diserned about when I will return not if.....that will happen some day...thank you for all your prayers of love and support. Peace, Valerie