In my CPE unit I am setting up my learning goals. So here are some of my thoughts that have come to mind.

Goal One (in a nut shell) Pastoral Formation

Goal Two (-) Awareness of Self

Goal Three(-) Function

I have been continuing to struggle to find my role within minister or what I should say is claiming my authority in my own right. I have encountered in my chaplaincy of the question of How old are you? How long have you been a minister? I find that I am stumped...not knowing how to answer them without being on the angry side of expressing how I feel. I wish others could stop questioning me and accept my role. I know that one that my mirror held in front of me has show that I have to claim my authority and walk with confidence. This is a continuing process. I have found that I have gotten much better at working with staff at the hospital. I know that I am still young within my field of work and should give myself some room to grow. I also want to get a growing awareness of self and how to carry myself as a whole in all aspects of my life in and out of work.

I realize also that I needed to let so much go....drop it off on the side of the road and move onward. The things I hope to let go of before February 2011.....? This will be when I graduate from my CPE experience. I hope to let go of the fear of being alone as in (single) realizing that I am surrounded by love that within and in community , to face my own mortality head on...write a living will, plan for my funeral, let go of material items that I no longer need, (give more away), The worry of what others think of me, What I hope to take on by February 2011 To laugh more, forgive others yet not take the others treating me like doormat either, get another tattoo from my own artistic creation, create art more.., relax and hang with friends and family dance more, We will see what develops.

Peace,

Val

CPE Experiencia

So I have completed my secod unit of CPE. I have now started my third unit. I find that I am growing more than I could ever imagine. It is so hard when a mirror is held right to your face and you take a good look at all the not so great stuff about yourself. In that you learn that nobody can hold power over you unless you give your power away. I have learned to try to get rid of the word NICE and embrace the word BOLD!! I am evolving as I was when I was in Honduras....the woman in me is finding a voice in self and ministry. I have held dying babies, witnessed grieving in its rawest form...it has humbled me to the core and I still have some many more expreinces to be witness to and forever changed. Thank you those that read my thoughts...It is healng to place them out there.
Paz del Senor,
Val